My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My feet surprised me
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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