Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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