i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
