worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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