oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
