nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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