And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
