i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
