Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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