a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I have fence marks all over my body
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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