also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he was CRYING into my vagina
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
