Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
