we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
