I just made out with a guy for $7.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize