PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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