Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i barfeds in our rink
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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