I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
