It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize