how can u be prego again
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
