It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
