..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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