This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
