You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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