someone owes me an orgasm
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize