Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
