hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
