i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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