uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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