I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
