Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
