I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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