I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
