Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
