We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
