Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
