i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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