three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
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