We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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