it wasn't lemon gatorade
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
