then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
