Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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