I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
