Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Everything about him screamed your future.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
