Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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