there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
