How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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