We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
