i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
a search helicopter?!
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
