Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize