thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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