think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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