I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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