Is it normal to miss your booty call?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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