The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
