Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
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