You just made me feel so damn special
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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