My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Shame - the story of my life.
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