Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
