Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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