he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
