I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
